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*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
‘X’ Twitter Rebrand Details REVEALED
Elon Musk’s seemingly insane decision to rebrand Twitter as X has prompted ridicule and some anger across social media. Le Chou can now report exclusively on the reasons behind that move.
Discarding a brand name with global recognition and kudos might seem like a stupid move to the rest of us but there is method behind Elon Musk’s supposed madness.
One Musk family friend revealed to Le Chou that ‘X’ was the name of Elon’s childhood sled and that the rebrand is a clear attempt to reconnect with his long-past and misspent youth in the emerald mines of South Africa.
However, it might yet prompt legal action as ‘X-Men’ founder Professor Charles Xavier has threatened to sue Musk for bringing his intellectual property into disrepute.
Others have responded more positively. EPP leader Manfred Weber hailed the move, explaining that he “loves to see dead birds”, while Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan promised to use the new name so long as Musk blocks anyone that posts about ‘Turkey’ instead of ‘Türkiye’.
Social media competitor Mark Zuckerberg, who recently fast tracked ‘Threads’ to try and capitalise on Twitter’s drawn-out collapse, filed on Monday to change the name of the platform to ‘Twitter’ now that Musk does not want it anymore.
Digital analysts hailed the move as “inspired”.
Trudeau Votes For ‘Anybody But Pedro Sanchez’
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau cast his ballot for “anybody but Pedro Sanchez” in last weekend’s Spanish elections and urged voters to do the same, it has now been revealed.
Trudeau, voting in the Spanish general election thanks to a quirk of international diplomacy, reportedly lent his support to anyone but the current prime minister, Pedro Sanchez, as part of his ongoing bid to reclaim the title of ‘most handsome world leader’.
Sanchez has held the accolade ever since he was first elected in 2018, forcing Trudeau to settle for second hunkiest. His runner up spot has recently been under threat from Czech president and silver fox Petr Pavel.
However, when the results started to pour in and it became apparent that Sanchez will not be unseated as easily as predicted, Trudeau reportedly threw a tantrum in his Ottawa office.
Canada’s PM will now count on an election re-run, hoping that a couple of extra months will mean extra wrinkles and grey hairs on the head of Spain’s leader.
Orban ‘Disgusted’ By Olympic Committee’s Mordor Snub
Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban has expressed his outrage at the International Olympic Committee’s decision not to invite Mordor to compete at the Paris 2024 Games.
“Politics has no place in sport and denying the dark forces of Sauron the chance to compete in Paris is of course a political act,” Orban told reporters. “Why should innocent Orc sportsmen be denied that chance?”
Hungary’s PM also criticised the IOC’s decision to ban the dark wizard Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters from the Games, insisting that “this is nothing less than a woke neoliberal witch hunt”.
The Olympic Committee also refused to extend invitations to Russia and Belarus, which means that Belarusian strongman Aleksandar Lukashenko will not be able to contest next year’s competitive eating event.
Lukashenko is reportedly “devastated” by the decision, as he has been “training his entire life for this shot at the gold medal”, according to Minsk insiders.
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*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
