Le Chou is Europe's most dedicated source of news. Catch up weekly on the biggest headlines with our roundup, all with an intentionally inaccurate and satirical streak. Follow live updates on Twitter and watch Le Chou TV on Instagram.
*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
European Council President Charles Michel has attempted to derail Ursula von der Leyen’s bid to keep her job as Commission boss, but his secret plan has come unstuck after he told everyone about it.
Michel has been manoeuvring behind the scenes for the last couple of weeks, enacting a diabolical revenge plan against von der Leyen, who he holds responsible for his low standing in European politics.
“He blames her for all the stupid shit he has done over the past five years,” one high-ranking Council official told Le Chou.
The Council chief has been briefing journalists with “exclusive information” that von der Leyen “might have done something dodgy with the Pfizer vaccine contracts” and that “she doesn’t like wolves”.
“I also hear that she might have made bad decisions when she was defence minister,” Michel also reportedly told journalists. Le Chou was not invited to this briefing after this newspaper branded him the “least funny clown in Europe”.
Michel also asked the 23 reporters with whom he shared his secret plan to “not reveal any details about it”. The Belgian also asked the audiences of the three podcasts and six speaking engagements he did in the past 10 days to keep quiet about it.
“He’s just a mediocre Machiavelli,” said one acid-tongued diplomat, after the details immediately leaked.
Von der Leyen has been approached for comment about the revelations. When her spokesperson was asked what the Commission president really thinks about Michel, they replied “who?”.
Extra! Extra!
*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
