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Poland’s government is mired in a new bribes-for-bears scandal after officials were allegedly found to have handed out the precious teddies to the highest bidder. Warsaw has responded by insisting Brussels “not meddle in our elections”.
According to a new in-depth investigation by Le Chou News, Polish officials embedded in consulates and embassies around the world have been handing out official EU merchandise in exchange for bribes.
Sources have confirmed that money has changed hands in no fewer than 23 different countries and that more than 200 limited edition EU teddy bears have been given to non-EU citizens.
“We do not normally comment on ongoing investigations but in this case I can tell you that the European Commission is very angry about this and wants the bears returned immediately,” a spokesperson said.
The Polish government has not denied that bears have been involved in illegal activity but did scream in a high-pitched voice that "Brussels should stay out of our elections. Sovereignty!”
European Commissioner Ylva Johansson, who is in charge of home affairs and toys, has called on the Polish government to answer a whole set of questions and wants a reply by 8 October.
“Those bears were earmarked for good little boys and girls for Christmas. If we don’t get an answer on this soon, then there won’t be enough time to make more,” Johansson told reporters.
Germany has reacted by closing its border to any “bears coming from the Polish market”, citing the scandal as a risk to its internal toy market. “Until we are satisfied that this issue has been resolved, border checks will continue,” the interior minister explained.
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*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
