'I paid €49 for speed dating in Brussels, and it was disastrous'

As dating app users become increasingly despondent, entering into vicious cycles of deleting and redownloading, some are turning to in-person events, such as speed dating. But are they any better than meeting someone online? One Brussels resident recounts her "disastrous" experience of speed dating in the city – which has put her off from ever going again.

This article is part of The Brussels Times' dating series, which includes columns and interviews with experts and members of the public on all matters of the heart.

Belgian-American Anna*, 40, has been in Brussels for 12 years, and on the apps for eight. "I use them on and off," she told The Brussels Times. "I get frustrated and delete them. And then come back to them when it seems like there's no other option."

It's a story many in Brussels and beyond are familiar with. But after talking to a friend from back home, Anna decided perhaps an in-person event was the way to go. "Initially, I thought, why not? It can't be worse than the apps. And it seems more efficient," she said, explaining that you can cut to the chase when you meet someone in person.

"You don't waste time chatting and picturing someone or imagining how they are and then meeting them and finding out you're wrong."

After some encouragement from her friend and a quick Google search, Anna tried her first speed dating event in March this year. It was a paid event and seemed promising at first. There were eight men and eight women present on the night, and it included a drink and a presentation from the host.

At around €30, she says the price point felt expensive, but at least people seemed invested on some level. "If people are willing to pay, maybe they're less likely to ghost. They're already showing up in person." But in reality, she found it "really awkward".

A couple seated at a bar, engaged in conversation in an elegant setting.

A couple seated at a bar, engaged in conversation. Credit: Pexels / Cottonbro Studio

"I had one divorced guy saying he doesn't really see his kids very much, and he's not really fond of his children because the mum has turned them against him.  I was like, wow, buddy, that is too much for a three-minute conversation."

Another man repeatedly explained the process of becoming Belgian to her – even though she had already done it herself. "He kept telling me I was wrong, [...] and said, 'You must have misunderstood what you were doing.'"

Anna says the women were mainly international residents, while most of the men were Flemish and didn't live in the capital. A couple of people even told her they hated Brussels – even though all the women present lived in the city.

The company gave participants until 04:00 that night to make a decision. In the end, she expressed interest in two people, and was told she had five admirers, but no mutual matches.

There was also the option to find a 'wingman' or 'wingwoman' for participants wanting to remain in contact with someone of the same sex. Anna had one of those:  "The women were all way cooler than the men."

Despite a disappointing and "cringey" first experience, Anna decided to give speed dating one last shot after "a lot of convincing" from a friend. "She said, 'Maybe you need to go for the more expensive one, and you'll find a different crop of people. Just give it a go, and see what's out there.'"

Four men for eight women

But the luxury experience proved even worse. She attended the Minute Dating event at Harmon House in Brussels on 11 May. It cost €49 and was branded for "English-fluent professionals".

When she arrived, only half the number of men had registered, meaning the women had to sit around for half the time they were there. "I paid that much money to meet four men, instead of eight," said Anna.

Anna claims that Minute Dating managing director Paul Brauch, who was hosting the event, told her that he had "forgotten to turn off the inscriptions for women".

She added, "Then he tried to set it up so that there was a 15-minute break, and then afterwards, we would get to talk to the same four men again." Anna left at the break along with two other women.

"It was disastrous," she said. "It was a huge waste of money."

Paying the price

Speaking to The Brussels Times one week after the event, Anna felt it was too late to ask for a refund. "I feel like maybe I should have jumped on it quicker, but it is very dishonest. And I would think that he should have offered maybe the women a discount or a portion of their money back. The men still got to meet eight women."

The Brussels Times approached Minute Dating for comment and asked whether compensation would be offered. Later that day, participants received an email offering a full refund.

"The timeline of the universal refund offer reflects the duration of our internal administrative audit. As a data-driven organisation, we perform comprehensive reviews of our pilot phases to ensure our strategic conclusions – and the subsequent reimbursements – are based on complete performance metrics rather than reactive shifts," Brauch told The Brussels Times.

Brauch said he "identified the logistical imbalance in real-time as the final registration phase concluded" for the 11 May event.

"Our professional standard dictates that providing the scheduled social opportunity for those who have already travelled to the venue and subsequently resolving the transaction is a more responsible service standard than a last-minute cancellation. We chose to honour our commitment to the guests' schedules and provide the evening as planned."

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In an email sent to participants directly after the event and seen by The Brussels Times, Brauch also stated that this was Minute Dating's fifth and final edition in Brussels, and the €49 format was "officially retiring" globally. The business is reportedly "transitioning to a strictly private/invitation-only matchmaking event model in markets specifically designed for this high-resolution format (such as Zurich, Geneva, and Luxembourg)", with prices starting at €150.

"We want to thank those who supported our vision in Brussels. For those seeking the casual, volume-based experience, those services remain available through other providers. We are choosing to focus exclusively on this specialised, audited model moving forward," the email concluded.

More hopeless than before

How is Anna feeling about dating now? "More hopeless than before," she says, as the apps are "soul-destroying", and speed dating seemed like the only other option.

But after these two experiences, she wouldn't recommend it. "I'm never going to do it again.  Not unless it was free.  It was more uncomfortable and superficial than meeting someone from a dating app.  It was more like shopping or feeling like you're being shopped for."

If you have a story to share of dating in the city, get in touch! i.vivian@brusselstimes.com

*Name has been changed to protect the speaker's identity.