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*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
The European Commission has made the audacious and unbelievable claim that its officials will actually do some work this year. The announcement has been met with universal scepticism.
According to a new work programme published by the Commission today, the EU’s executive branch is actually planning to do some work in 2025. Journalists have spent all day fact-checking this claim.
Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that EU officials will be expected to do some work this year, breaking with tradition. “We’ve realised that in order to compete globally, we need to do something. Anything will do,” she said in a speech.
But the Commission’s claims have been met with nothing but scepticism. One top diplomat told Le Chou “yeah right” when asked about the programme, while another predicted that it would cause an insurrection among the eurocrat ranks.
Upon closer inspection, Commission officials will be only expected to work on projects on Thursday mornings and every other Tuesday. Light duties will be assigned on Wednesday. Mondays, Thursday afternoons and Fridays have been kept free.
No work will be scheduled between the end of May and the last week of September either, leaving officials with just over four months of work to endure once the Christmas and Easter breaks are taken into account.
Nevertheless, the announcement has been met with outrage by seasoned bureaucrats. “This is not what I signed up for,” said one, while another insisted that he would be talking to his union representative immediately.
Von der Leyen's office has been asked to comment on the threat of a staff walkout.
*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
